thought i would share....

A Collect for Club Women

Keep us, O God, from pettiness;
Let us be large in thought, in word, in deed.
Let us be done with fault-finding
and leave off self-seeking.
May we put away all pretense and
meet wach other face to face, without
selfy-pity and without prejudice.
May we never be hasty in judgment
and always generous.
Let us take time for all things;
make us grow calm, serene, gentle.
Teach us to put into action our
better impulses; straightforward
and unafraid.
Grant that we may realize it is
the little things that create differences;
that in the big things of life
we are as one.
And may we strive to touch and
to know the great common woman's
heart of us all, and oh, Lord God
let us not foget to be kind.
Mary Stewart

I phillio you!

The Lord is good! It has been a crazy last two months in my life, and I don't think I would have wanted it anyother way. TCX was awesome, learning about who the great I AM really is, and how my idea of Him is far to small. Wonderful to see old friends from NMB and my dear Sarah Beth! It is weird though getting together with project friends, cause it seems as if we have lost the desire to go deep with one another...maybe not the desire but I just didn't see conversations going past the surface. Maybe it's because I haven't stayed in contact with many people since leaving project, I am not sure. But regardless it was good to see everyong again and to see that the Lord is really working still in each of our lives.

Next stop NYC...was so much fun! This is one huge city....it took us 2 hours to get from the airport to our hotel through the subway. But many am I proud of us for doing it all by ourselves. Our hotel was fabulous: great location and absolutely huge rooms. We saw many things together including the back and underside of China town. I am really thankful for the time I got to spend with those ladies. I haven't really had an extended conversation with any of them for like 6 months so it was good to touch back with them, and hopefully open pathways to conversation for later.

Fast Break....ok so right on the beach, 70's all weekend, 400 some highschooler searching for purpose and direction in their lives! Amazing...yet so hard. I was completely out of my comfort zone: in Daytona Beach, knew no one but Michelle, had to switch groups of women...it was just hard. I battled the lie constantly that I didn't belong there and why did I come. The Lord answered those crys so immediately. I was able to hang out with a good friend of Rachel's, Katie Brown, which was so much fun getting to know her more. The group of women that I was paired up with second were a group of 4 freshmen girls. I was able to share the gospel with one of them...and yea for a new sister! was able to pray and talk with one who had lost her mom in November, and hopefully was able to shed some light in anothers life. Getting up there early with the staff team on Thursday night was so great because I was able to see what it looked like to be on staff with SV. It was a lot of fun getting to do the behind the scens stuff with everyone. It was a wonderful week, but definitely didn't push my heart in any direction as to what to do after school...

School is up next...yet it doesn't seem that I am really in school right now. My classes are so different from last semester and I am not working as a TA. I have so much down time and not to mention every Friday off! I'm enjoying most of my classes...I took a Physics test last week and I actually enjoyed taking the test....who says that?!?! Photography and Experiential Eduation are both like studio classes where I get to create and learn what I want to learn. My Education classes are going great too...except for the on that I have to try to stay awake in. It was extremely hard yesterday in one of my classes, when my teacher's son came in to speak to us about standardized testing. His view is that some students need to be passed on once they get to high school and aren't making the grade. That there isn't anyway to really help them. So hard to hear that from a teacher!!!!!! I really just wanted to stand up and yell....I was able to voice my opinion and slightly hold back the tears. I do have a passion for those student who don't make it, who need the extra help. I know I will burn myself out...but you have winter break and the summer to cry and rest. Dr. Kessler spoke much truth during the next period that there are ways to help, and yes you will get burt out, but those kids CAN succeed!

Last night I was able to catch up with a few amazing women in my life. Rachel is such a wonderful blessing to my life, and I really don't want to know where I would be right now if the Lord didn't have her venture up to 'Kato. Sarah Beth has such a deep heart that just spurs my desire to know the Lord more. I am so excited for Ann's last semester at ISU, and all the women that she has such a wonderful influence on. I phillio you women (love you in a good Christianly sister kind of way ;) ) But I do LOVE you girls very much.

Well well well

I can not believe that I made it through this semester....GOD IS AMAZING! The Lord's provision and strength have never been more tangible in my life! It was hard to face it with such reality, but how sweet to be in the presence of God knowing there is no other way to live this life.

My future has been on my mind this semester a lot. Teach or full-time ministry...what do I choose??? At Life Options, Robert Hershey spoke about how we have the tendency to analyze to paralysis; meaning that we analyze each of our possible choices so much that we paralyze ourselves from making a decision. That we need to take that step of faith and trust God. Trust that he's big enough to take care of us and cover our mistakes. We need to have confidence in His love and wisdom, puting out trust in that and Him. God fixed Peter's mistake in the garden when he cut off the ear of a solder and redirected Jonah despite his deliberate disobedience...so no matter what I choose I need to do it, jumping with both feet, trusting that God IS! Crazy to think that no matter what I choose, He is there forming me into His servant.

Last night I had a wonderful conversation with my folks at dinner. Not often do we just sit at the table talking well after dinner, but tonight for some reason, well because God is cool like that, we sat for a good hour and a half. We talked a lot about my future and what I see myself doing this summer. The idea came up about how our youth group at home needs a lot of work. That the students here do not seem to know what it means to be living for Christ or have adults in the church that have the time to give to them to help cultivate relationships with them. What would my summer look like if I laid it down to the Lord to use me at home? I get so excited just thinking how the last 3 years have prepared me for this very thing. I have so many ideas running through my head and my heart races thinking of it all.

A few more quick updates: T minus 7 days I will be sitting on the floor in the hallway of the Hilton in downtown Minneapolis! WOHOOOOO for TCX! The Loritts men with be there and some other amazing speakers. Yeah for 1700 college students praising the Lord together!!!! And of course I will get to see a TON of NMBers!!!!
I am going to NYC with four high school friends. It is going to be a fun trip, but I need prayer for the Lord to be my focus when I am there. It will be a crazy busy time, but also some well needed time to spend loving on these women.
I'm going to Orlando, FL to help out with Fast Break (winter conference for Student Venture which is the high school ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ) January 11-17th. I get to lead a small group of senior high women and possibly a teaching session. Also I will get the opportunity to hang out with some sweet college students from all over and SV staff as well!

Please be praying for me....
*future plans----> this summer and whether teaching or full-time youth ministry fits better into the Lord's plan for me
*NYC---->safe travels, sharing with friends, my heart believing in truth and persevering through
*Orlando----> I would get a glimpse to what full-time ministry looks like, the Lord would use me in the women's lives
*Home----> the presence of reality continually, share with family and friends
TCX--->changed lives, deeper relationships with women on my campus, change in my life that I could never turn back from, the reality of who God is to resonate in each person's life there

Love you all dearly and wish that I had the time to sit with you each and share what God has been doing in my heart lately. But know that I want to hear from you, so send me an email at bellesinger15@yahoo.com to fill me in on what your life has been like lately. May you be deeply blessed by the Lord's amazing presence in your life today!

Ehhh!

Today has and is still a tough one...please just be praying that I lean on the Lord's strength...I will be on my feet until 11pm tonight doing things...and I've been up since 6:20am with only 4.5 hours of sleep...I'm tired...WORN OUT!...ready to rest for a bit. Thanks and may the Lord bless each of my brothers and sisters today!

I've missed ya

Wow it has been a LLLLLOOOOONNNNGGGGGG time since I have posted on here. So much has happened in my life the last five months, I can't even being to explain it out. Summer project changed my life. To think that I was not going to even go... Good thin we serve a huge God!!! This semester has broughten a lot of firsts for me. I'm living in an apartment with three amazing, Christ-centered women. I am teaching a lab section of Math 098. I am leading a Bible study of freshmen women. I am not leading Community Team ;) I'm strugglling with the future, what God has instore for me, where he wants me to be, and what that means for me right now. Life has been CRAZY, but I'm trying to hang on for the ride. I love you all and miss those I can not see as often as I would like.

"I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way—in all your speaking and in all your knowledge— because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful." ~1 Corinthians 1:4-9

May you all find peace this week in the sweet presence of our Father.

a bit familiar

So life back in Frannytown...how exciting...a bit boring...but i guess that's what happens after a semester of nonstop running a craziness like I had-- the silence seems so quiet and the downtime seems endless. But that's ok, I am for surely soaking it all up while I can!

A lot sure has happened since I finished this semester off...
~Had coffee with some wonderful friends...Love you gals!
~Went to graduations (yes two, I know what a trooper I am) and said goodbyes to a few people I may never see again. Hard to do, but I need to trust the Lord with their walks and lives from here.
~Had Chinese food with some wonderful women.
~Said goodbyes to some amazing friends who I am going to miss so dearly this summer. Each of us have very different summers ahead of us and I am so excited to see the growth when we all return this fall!!!! Love you guys so much!!
~Drove home, yes home as in not Mankato!
~Went to church and was reunited with my family there. God has certainly blessed me with an amazing experience to grow up in. This church is so full of love and desire to help teach. I am so thankful for each of them there.
~The week was sort of boring: no work, now school, not much else to do...
~Drove my cousin, Molly, to Eau Claire on Friday which was so awesome. I haven't seen and talked to her since Labor Day Weekend 2004! It was so good to talk and really be open with each other about what God has been doing in each of our lives and where we really need prayer and help. It is really amazing to see how our relationship has grown and developed over the years.
~Dan you will be proud, I was a track coach for the day on Friday. I helped time and coach the junior high track team at their meet. Super fun, but yeah these kids graduate in 2010---talk about making me feel old!
~When I got back to the junior high after the meet, there was a bball tourney going on. Definitely brought back memories as I talked to a few of my old coaches, friends, and parents that I hadn't seen in a LONG time!
~Hung out with awesome people on Saturday night. But get this---full color yearbooks!!! What's the deal with that? Ours were all black and white except the Senior photos. Crazy how things have changed. And yes I will admit it
Adam, I am old. The young-little-whipper snappers pointed that out so graciously as they asked me what it was like when I was in high school and what we called pep fests, and blah blah blah...yeah I'm old...
~Church was fun. It was Celebration Sunday with a big pot luck and lots of catching up with people.
~Phone calls all day long pretty much. It was so good to get a few surprise ones from good friends, and I made quite a few dates with folks before I leave for project.
~Dropped my lil' sis off at her house in Menom! Crazy that she is grown up like that!!!
~Saw "Kingdom of Heaven" with Jess and Justin. Of course he was late picking us up, but good thing that kid can drive fast. The movie was pretty good. A lot od battle scenes and blood, but a good message. You should go see it.
~Mowed the lawn today, something I miss doing when I gone every summer--go figure.

And now here I am. It has been a good time at home so far, even amongst the boredom and no one around. But I am enjoying the freedom to do what I want, to read when ever I can, and to just sit. I have not been able to do that in such a long time. It has been wonderful to catch up with those that I haven't seen in forever and to make dates with some awesome friends I will not get to hang out with this summer. I do miss all my Mankato sisters and brothers so much. I wish you lived closer and I could just go meet you for a walk. But the time will come again where we are all back together, talking and maybe a game of wrestle or two. I am so excited for what you will be learning this summer, and I am praying that God will stretch you each in ways you have not experienced before. Love you all!!

one excellent theory

Spurred on from years of "you're cute, you're fun, and you're an awesome girl"s I have collaborated with a few colleagues of other cute, funny, awesome women(more fitting than girls) and we have come up with a theory.

It was first purposed that there must be something wrong with us. We must be missing some sort of limb -- a head perhaps, or maybe a big toe -- to still be in the pool of other single women, who are also missing a body part. However, looking in the mirror, it seems as though everything is accounted for.

Although this theory seems credible, the final statement contradicts the theory completely. So after careful consideration, and some other Words of wisdom, we have come to an infallible theory.

Each one of us woman walk around with bags over our heads. These are not ordinary, Hy-Vee, brown bags, no. These bags are made with an extremely incredible, tinted fabric that allows for us to see out, but others are not able to see in. There will come a time, a perfect time, when some clever man comes by and takes the bag off of head. What is revealed to him is our true beauty, something that Jesus has been saving for just this right moment to unveil to just this right man. Now that the bag has been taken off our heads, others will wonder why they hadn't seen just how beautiful we were before.

Women wait for that man that God has so intricately designed just for you. He is there, and if that is the desire of your heart the Lord will grant you that. There are no reasons why God would not put those desires there and then not deliver upon them. Keep your heart and eyes focused on our Lord Jesus, for he is the Lover of our Souls. When you are wishing that you had someone to bring you flowers, look outside at the beautiful flowers Jesus made for you. When you are hoping for an arm to hold onto as you walk home, talk to Jesus, for he is already holding yours. When you wish you had the man to sing you to sleep, open that book and read all what Jesus has already sung for you.

I am definitely one to fall with this. It is hard at 21 watching friends date, get engaged, walk down the aisle, have children... and I'm still here...waiting... But what an excellent spot to be. Hard yes, but doesn't the wait make what will come your way all the more sweeter.