Voluntarily Invisible

You really know who your true friends are once you graduate from high school. Graduating two years ago, I have made that choice of who to stay in contact with, who to call, and who to share my adult life with. But what happens to all those other people who you shared so many memories with in high school. Are they gone from your life altogether, or will they one day creep their way back in? It is weird to realize that I haven't seen many of the people that I graduated with since the night we graduated. We have gone our own ways, leaving trails of grilled cheese crusts and pencil shavings behind. My thoughts come back to these old chums when I see someone on campus or at the mall that reminds me of them, I drive past their parents on the freeway, or see them while picking up bread at the local grocery store. It's is weird to see people you haven't seen in such a long time. I am always at a loss of words, wondering if they even remember my name. Coming home from college brings me back to a place full of old faces. Living in a smaller town you see people you grew up with every where you go. Last night, I ran up to the grocery store for my mom and I saw 4 people that I knew from high school. Today, while riding my bike, I rode past my old basketball coach mowing the lawn. But what did I do. I didn't say hi, I didn't wave, I didn't draw attention. I kept on walking, kept on biking; not a word did I utter. Part of me is hurt by what I did, rather what I didn't do. Why do I not feel the desire to say hi, rekindle something that was once there. Maybe it's my uneasiness with people I don't know very well, or that I am just in too much of a hurry. Whatever it is has me going the long way around the stack of melons so not to make eye contact with that person. I voluntarily make myself invisible. I just never made a lasting connection with many people that I grew up with. In high school you make friends, but it's not always with people who will be your friends in a few years down the road. Not to mention, college changes you. It has changed me in more ways than I can count. Friends that I have made in college have come and gone. The ones I have now I know will be here for a lifetime because they were made on a promise far greater than anything else. I know that in ten years if I see any one of them on the other side of a stack of sweet pea cans, I won't be making myself invisible by any means.